age

tick

tock

gray

tick

tock

another

wrinkle

settles

into

place

and

i feel

trapped

caged

against my

will

like a

cat

having

lived

a life

feral

pressure

builds

behind the

third eye

a

location

i was told

is the

seat of power

where

anything

imagined

can be

done

by

releasing

the

will

and

speaking

the

word

and

while

the

young

hero

could not

think

of

anything

he

wished

to change

i

can not

think

of

anything

i

would not

abstract

concept

like

motivation

or

willpower

could be seen as

speculative

at best

and

i find it

interesting

that

i was

taught

the difference between

the two

by an

artificial intelligence

which

lacks

both

it

described

willpower

as

something that

must

be

trained

worked

engaged

and

over time

and

repetition

it will

grow

like a

muscle

and

conversely

if not

sufficiently

worked

it will

atrophy

now

when i

look around

i am

surrounded

by

objects

things

material

wealth

that may

represent

prior

examples

of

willpower

so

when i

lack

for

nothing

it could be

that the

willpower

muscle

may

begin to

atrophy

if

left

alone

and

without

guidance

the problem

with that

is

my

priorities

and

prior

insecurities

have

left

me

surrounded

by

luxuries

in a

small

house

near

death’s

door

in itself

absurd

as a

concept

there exists

no

place

where

such a thing

could be said to

exist

what it is

is

actually

a lack of

sensitivity

to the

vibrations

and that

is the most

that can

be said

for

it

even as

the

dying

note

of a

singing

bowl

could not

be

heard

it can

nonetheless

be

felt

on the

skin

and

through the

very

air itself

for

you

and

air

are not

really

so different

merely

infinitesimally

small

alterations

in the

arrangement

of your

protons

and

quarks

and

such

small things

a

rounding error

in the

grand scheme of

the universe

a

smudge

on the

lens

of

reality

even

when

it comes to pass

that

you are

returned

to the

earth

silence

is a

fallacy

every

atom

that

comprised

you

moves on

immortal

through

such

immaterial

contrivances

as a

coffin

given enough

time

each

such

atom

powerful

energy

and always

vibrating

resonating

and

to a trained

ear

musical

the core

of

thought

and

without

words

there is

no thought

or so an

author

once

confided

to me

but

try to

tell

that

to

a bird

in

the rainforest

who has

a mate

and

a

full

stomach

a funny thing

in that

we can

choose

from a

few dozen

words

to describe

them

and

in many cases

the

number

is

much smaller

because

we have

collectively

decided on

what it is

to be

happy

sad

angry

but

due to

a lack of

conversation

many people

stop

at around

a dozen

but

a common

shared

phenomenon

is a

miniscule

proportion

of the

human condition

and

our

feelings

are

myriad

they are

a

constantly

changing

flow

of

sensory

inputs

chemicals

and

noise

so

when

life

renders you

airborne

and

someone

asks you

how you are

doing

perhaps

the answer

is

je suis

le vent

find yourself

with a

few minutes

to

kill

i must

recommend

a visit

to

the rings of saturn

because

it is an

ideal

place for

introspection

and

reflection

on

your past

present

future

your

triumphs

and

your

tragedies

while

it is true

that

some people

may find

it

inhospitable

there are

others

that

saw fit to

bring

oxygen

and

snacks

occasional

lull

in an

otherwise

commonplace

state of

affairs

can be a

reminder

that the

situation

exists

in a state of

fluidity

and that

you

are not

immovable

impermeable

indefatigable

you must

sometimes

accede

and become

debris

and

accept

the

currents

in the

invisible

wind

so that

you

may

become

kinetic energy

like a

bomb

dropped

from a

great

height

and the

wind

will

place

you

where it

chooses

「古い」

と言います

でも

水も

古い

が

「古い」

言うな

「きれい」

と言います

ね

石は

水ほど

古くない

石は

若い

そして

人は

赤ちゃん

そして

老人

では

ありません

a stone

is

“ancient”

you might say

however

water is also

ancient

but

“ancient”

is not what you would say

“clean”

you might say

consider

that the stone

from the point of view

of the water

is not ancient

the stone

is young

and

humans

are infants

and

old person

is a contradiction

in terms

to happen

explosively

and sometimes

at a pace considered

glacial

however

these concepts

are the product of

perspective

they are a

construct

and they are

artificial

what is a glacial pace

to a

mountain

what is an explosive pace

to a

mayfly

growth

ought not

be measured

by the introduction

of certain

pharmacological

compounds

and i must say

that i don’t mind

or perhaps it's the top

it's hard to say

from here